I'm a bad, bad blogger

Wow...it's really been since August since I've updated this thing?? I really stink at this. But then again, we already knew that, didn't we? :)

So, where to begin?

Let's see...we found out waaaaay back on the 25th of September that we're having another little boy. :D :D :D Although the initial hope had been for a girl, I am over the moon at having another baby boy. And, better yet, we found out on the 6th of this month that he's happy, healthy, and (very much so) growing. And I've discovered that having a "high-risk" pregnancy has its perks--we've had an ultrasound each month thus far, and more will follow. One of the most wonderful things I've ever seen is the development of this baby. I can't begin to describe how it makes me feel.

This pregnancy has been COMPLETELY different from my pregnancy with MD. I'm figuring that the fact that I was 25 pounds lighter to begin with than I was with MD has a lot to do with this, and my weight gain thus far (knock on wood) has been carefully controlled. I was 20 weeks this past Saturday, and I've gained a total of 10 pounds. I'm exercising fanatically (which was ok'd by the perinatologist, as Baby's growth is very good), and I feel WONDERFUL. I'm lucky in that my morning sickness started early (around the time of my missed period) and ended early (about week 8.5). The heartburn has started earlier, but I'm pretty sure that's been because I've been craving SPICY foods this pregnancy. I'm telling you, the spicier, the better. Why? I have no clue. But I'll tell you that even the fiery heartburn that follows isn't enough to dissuade the cravings.

This pregnancy has not been without its moments of anxiety, however. About 6 weeks in, I noticed that my symptoms had mysteriously vanished one day. I freaked, because that's what happened with my very first pregnancy--the one that ended in miscarriage. Looking back, I see that THAT should have been my first clue of what a trickster this baby was going to be! My symptoms returned a day later with a vengeance, although they did continue to come and go up to the beginning of my second trimester. So, if anyone is reading this and is concerned about fluctuating symptoms, there ya go--I had the same thing happen, and now I'm getting kicked to pieces from the inside. :) The next fit of worrying came at 12 weeks, during my 2nd prenatal checkup, when the nurse couldn't find Baby's heartbeat with the handheld Doppler machine. NOT cool. We were sent straight to Ultrasound, where we saw not only a heartbeat, but a tiny baby "waving" to us from within! He pulled the same trick at the 16 week checkup, and that point we decided that this child just really likes to have his picture taken. I'm telling you, I have a feeling now that he's going to be a handful!

Anyway, it's hard to cram almost 3 months worth of catching up into one blog post...I'll have to do better about remembering to update this thing. We have a prenatal appointment this coming Friday which should be pretty basic (for week 20). We'll visit the perinatologist again on 12/4...and I'm really hoping for a 4D ultrasound, although I'm not holding my breath just yet. But all in all, I can't remember when I've been this excited--the Lord has been good!

We have a baby!

I have been grinning like a cheshire cat ever since 2:30 yesterday afternoon! I finally got to see and hear my little one's heartbeat! I had a brief moment of anxiety when I first saw the baby, because it wasn't moving. That didn't last long, though, thankfully. Baby B had a heartbeat of 170 bpm and measured 2.11 centimeters long--and the measurments perfectly matched the gestational age. I cannot tell you how thrilled and relieved I was! The ultrasound tech was super nice and gave me not one but three pictures of our little...girl? Boy? I don't even care which right now, 'cause I'm just excited that it's HEALTHY!

Of course, the fact that I will be 35 when this child is born didn't escape the good folks at my clinic. Because of my age and my psoriatic arthritis, I am (of course) classified as a high-risk pregnancy. I've been automatically referred to the local perinatologist, whom, coincidentally, I love--I had to visit him during my first pregnancy, as well. I'll have to have a few more ultrasounds than normal, but hey, somehow I don't think I'll mind.

Overall, the visit was very positive. The OB that I saw delivered Mr. M.D. and has a wonderful bedside manner, and he seemed very optimistic about this pregnancy. The fact that he has never fed me a line of bull also helped to put me at ease.

So, that's about it for now. I have two doctor's appointments next month. The first is the regular OB visit on Sept. 16. The second is on the 25th and is with the perinatologist, and we'll be having a 14 week ultrasound done! So, if you have the chance, send us some happy thoughts!

Sounds like bull to me...

My husband is a rodeo freak. Wait...that didn't sound right. He's all about some rodeo. He used to bullride, and he'd do it again today if it wouldn't make my heart stop a hundred times over. So naturally, when he found out that a nearby county fair was having a Junior Rodeo, he talked our 3 1/2 year old son into participating in it. Little Boy was more than thrilled to be a part of it.



Now, understand , there are no live animals in this jr. rodeo. The barrel horse racing was done on stick horses, the cows for the cow-milking were wooden cut-outs, and the bull was a plastic barrel with a plastic bull's head on the front of it and was suspended by four ropes (two in front, two in back) from two overhead ceiling beams. My son was in the 5 & Under group. I wish I had a picture of him to put on here, because he surely was cute in his little blue jeans, work boots and "Ride 'Em Cowboy" shirt.



He participated in the stick horse barrel racing and (of course) in the bullriding. You should have seen the big grin on his face during the barrel race--it made this mother's heart melt. As far as the bullriding...well, dummy me, in my eagerness to watch my son participate, had signed him up to be the first rider. What I was thinking, I don't know, because now he couldn't watch to get an idea of how, exactly, it was supposed to be done. On top of that, we had asked the lady in charge of the rodeo event if the smaller kids were allowed to hang on with both hands instead of just one, and she was like "Oh yeah, it's no big deal, that's fine." Well, turns out, it wasn't fine. Apparently the teens that were judging the event didn't get the memo. My boy got dinged on points for doing what we were told he would be fine doing. So, he didn't win, but he did obviously have a good time, which was totally worth the 2 1/2 hours we sat in the humid, Southern evening air. Oh--you wanna know who won his age group? The winner was the little girl whose daddy ran the fair's mechanical bull. Hmmmm....



Anyway, perceived unfairness aside, we had a good night. It was a good family outing. It was great to see my boy in action. I just hope I handle it so well when he climbs onto the live animal for the first time...we'll not rush that along. :)

Wooooohoooo!!!!

Wow...3 months? I haven't posted for 3 months? I didn't realize how far off my game I've fallen!

The reason that I posted today, actually, is because I have good news--I'm pregnant! I was kinda hesitant to even put it on here because I didn't want to jinx it, and I'm still VERY early in this pregnancy. BUT...I do have a doctor's appointment on August 19. :) How I'm going to be able to make it until then without completely losing my mind, I don't know. Oh, wait...that's right, I'll have morning sickness to keep me busy until then. It's the kind of morning sickness that lasts all day long. But you know what? I'll happily be sick if it means that I have a healthy pregnancy & baby.

I'm kinda halfway wondering what I've gotten myself into. I'll be 35 when this baby is born. Add on top of that the joint damage I've already got from my psoriatic arthritis, and well...I'm a little intimidated right now. I've heard that most cases of arthritis go into remission during pregnancy, and I'm really hoping that I'm part of "most." I guess we'll have to see. Either way, I'm in it for the long haul.

So, anxiety aside, I am THRILLED about this baby!! It's truly an answer to my prayers. I guess now I have a reason to update this blog more often now, huh? :)

Wait, let me explain...

Ok, upon re-reading my previous post, I understand that perhaps I came across like a spoiled teenager who expects everything to be done *RIGHT WHEN!* she wants...honestly, that's not the image I was trying to project.

Let me help you understand...

Four and half years ago, when my life was totally and completely out of control, I found out that I was pregnant. I cried for the rest of that day. And then I realized, "Wait! So what if the father of this child is a no-good @#$%&*...I'm going to have a baby!" Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I had never experienced such devastation in my life up to that point. So, you can imagine that when I met my soon-to-be husband not even a month after this miscarriage, I was really thinking that things were too good to be true. He was wonderful, and he gave me a love that I had never known before. Because of him, my life turned around. Anyway....enough mush. :) Things just clicked between us. There was no question in either of our minds that we were made for each other. After becoming engaged on March 18, 2005, we kind of ran off and eloped on the 23rd. I TOLD you we didn't believe in long engagements. At the end of March, we decided that we would try for a baby. (I was 30, after all...) The first month we tried, we conceived, and I wound up giving birth to my M.D.

Now, I said all that to say this...I have a problem in that I base what things *should* be like on what they *were* before. I realize that there are couples out there that try for months and years, and this time around, we could be one of them...and I by no means want to discount what they have to go through. One of the things that God apparently wants me to work on is dealing with my disappointment and with having patience. I'm really not a petulant spoiled brat. Really!

Oh, and I would like to say thank you to HTM--you always have the most encouraging things to say. Thanks for your kind words. :)

Sometimes...

Sometimes I am sad. Today is one of those days. I wrote 2 months ago about how I'd love to have another baby and about how I didn't feel that it was time. Well, that's all changed. Just days after that blog was written, Hubby and I decided that it was, in fact, time. (Yes, we're impulsive...I'll have to tell ya about our not-so-lengthy path to engagement/marriage...lol). So, long story short, we've been trying. And it's breaking my heart into pieces right now that it would appear that *this* isn't the month that the magic is going to happen.

Now, granted...just 'cause it's time to try doesn't mean that it's time to happen. That's what I keep telling myself...yeah, sounds a little desperate, doesn't it? I mean, I'm almost 35 years old. I've been on birth control for half my life. I have an auto-immune issue. The odds are stacked against me, but I'm trying my dangedest to keep my faith strong in the Lord. I have caught myself thinking about the stories of Sarah and Hannah in the Old Testament, and I know that He is hearing my prayers. I just...well, I'm not so good at the waiting thing. Perhaps I should pray for patience, as well?

So, now you know part of the reason that I haven't been chatty as much here lately. With my roller-coaster emotions, sometimes silence is the best option. Silence and prayer--there's been a lot of that going on here lately, and more promises to follow.

Breaking the blog-silence

Have you ever had one of those days where you just didn't want to really be around anyone? I've just had about 2 months worth of them. I've done a lot of thinking, praying, and most hopefully, growing. I've had to come to terms with a lot of my issues, as I wasn't left a choice in the matter. We'll see where this leads. I'll try to provide interesting reads on this blog, even if I can't update it every day. It still may not be the most intelligent blog you've ever read...but hey, if I can at least amuse you, I've done my job. :)

Issues that are only in my head

I thought I'd beat the dust off of my poor, negected blog and actually write a post. You know, since I'm sure everyone has missed me soooooo much. Lol.

*Ahem*....Anyway...Hubby's Granddaddy is at home now and seems to be very much improved. He's hating the new diet that the doc suggested. Who can blame him? He's almost 85 and has eaten *one* way his whole life...and now some doctor comes along and tells him to do it differently. Who wouldn't hate that? But, his incision area from the surgery looks absolutely great, and he's in excellent spirits--most of which is due to not having to be in the hospital!

Over the three weeks that we spent traipsing around the hospital, at some point I mentioned to my son that he was born there at that particular hospital. Being the highly inquisitive 3 year old he is, he demanded to see where he was born. So, I took him up to the maternity floor...and thus began some of the issues in my head. I have made it no secret that I want another child. I'm 34, and I'm not getting any younger. It's not that I'm not thankful for what I've got...but the pull of another child is like a siren's call to me. Realistically speaking, it just ain't gonna happen right now. Yeah yeah, I know that lots of folks believe that it's our duty to bear any children that the Lord may send, and that He will provide for you...that's not what this is about, ok? I don't have a lack of faith, Heaven knows. But I do have a sense of practicality that God gave me...and that side of me is saying that we just can't afford it right now and that the time just isn't right. It's killing me. Especially since I found out just yesterday that my brother-in-law's wife is expecting. I had a good cry, and since I'm also PMS-y at the current moment, I'm seriously considering having another good cry, just for good measure. I know that if it's supposed to happen, it WILL happen...well, at least that's what the "practical" side of me is saying. The other side of me--the feminine, mothering, biologically-aging, baby-hungry side--is broken-hearted.

So, for the time being, I will wait. I will reach deep within to find the steadfast patience that I didn't know I possessed. Time is the best healer for hurting hearts, right? *sigh*

Kitteh-love pics

Need a Kitteh-Fix? Please, take one of mine!

This is Ernie before he became the poufy, toilet-diving cat that I love so much. Doesn't he look sweet and innocent?

Here is Remington, a.k.a. Remi-Kitty. He's the "old man" of the bunch at 2 1/2.

Hello, I'm from the State of Confusion

Well, Granddaddy-in-law is still in the hospital, but I'm happy to report that he's holding his own and has been taken off his all-liquid diet. I have to tell you, and it amazes me, that even after all that this man has had to endure over the past two weeks, not once has he lost his sweet demeanor or his sense of humor. It kinda shames me, if you wanna get down to brass tacks.

My demeanor hasn't been very sweet lately. I'm sure my husband is ready to send me to my room for a while...lol. I'm not sure what my problem is. And the worst thing is that even though I KNOW I'm being mean and insufferable, I don't know how to stop it. Ok, so, for those of you who have it together, please don't go quoting Proverbs 31 to me right now. I know what it says, ok? Anyway, this is something that I've been praying over for the past couple of weeks. I'm hoping that it's a passing phase brought on by lack of sleep and the whole ordeal of quitting smoking...but if it's not, I really feel sorry for those in my household. :)

On a good note, I had a good checkup at my rheumatologist's office yesterday. *Whew*...one less thing to worry about. I at least know that my joints aren't so bad that body parts will start dropping off into the floor. AND....even better....he said that it shouldn't be a problem for me to come off my medicine when we're ready to try for another child. :) :) :)

Maybe if I can get past my dentist appointment here in a couple of hours, I can start getting more "back to normal," whatever in the heck that is these days. Oh well...if anything else interesting has the chance to happen, I'll let you know.

I need a break

If I ever needed any further proof that I'm not Superwoman, I have it now. It's 2:40am. I'm in the Critical Care waiting room at a large local hospital. My grandfather-in-law has been here for the past two days. Tonight was my night to spend with Granny to keep her from going stir-crazy in this huge place. I can't sleep, even though I've tried most desperately, because it's got to be every bit of 90 degrees in this room. I want to find whomever controls the thermostats in this area and KICK THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF THEM!!! And if all that in itself weren't bad enough, I have FREAKIN' PMS! GAHHHHHH! I can't deal. My mother-in-law has Mr. MD tonight (err...this morning, heh). But, since she's coming down here again tomorrow, MD will not be able to stay at her house (as I had planned...when will I learn???), and I will have to be lucid enough to take care of him. All I can think about is finding a big (and cool) hole to crawl into in my desperate bid for sleep.

I know I sound really, REALLY gripey right now. For that I apologize. I am very grateful that my Granddaddy-in-law is recovering nicely and may actually get to come home tomorrow. I am grateful, too, that even with the stress I've been dealing with over the past several days, I haven't picked up the first cigarette since I quit on Feb. 1. If anyone is actually reading this, say a prayer/send energy/think good thoughts for me. If I can hold it all together for just a few days longer, I may actually have a decent chance of keeping at least one shred of my sanity. :)

Kitties!

Reckon these are some spoiled cats??

My baby!

Here he is, my precious 3 year old! See, I did get a pic up this week.

Hmmm...couldn't think of a catchy title.

How's the weather where you are? It's COLD here. My area of the Southern US is under an ice storm warning. As I've mentioned before in a previous post, Southern people don't always do icy conditions well. I'm really hoping that, since we're on the very edge of the warning, that perhaps it will decide not to drop too much frozen precip on us. At the very least, maybe it will hold off until after Hubby has to leave to go to work. I mean, yeah, he'll have to drive *back home*, but at least it will be daylight by then. And WOOT...he actually got a whole half hour of overtime today!! I'm already making plans of how we can spend that whole $1.50. Heh.

So, as far as Bible reading goes, I've decided to re-read the book of John. My dad has always recommended the Book of John for those just starting out in their Bible experiences...and since it's been a shamefully long time since I've done any serious Bible reading, I thought this would be a good place to pick back up. I immediately remembered what I loved before about John--it's beautiful simplicity. I've needed some simplicity in my life...and it doesn't hurt to have a little bit of hope thrown in, too, every once in a while.

Anyway, I'll still be up for a while. I'll see if I can find anything else about which to write. :)

When life hand you lemons...sometimes you just gotta pucker up.

I don't like change. I never have. Hubby's job has decided that, since they need his training expertise, his shift for the next couple of weeks will be 2am-10:30am. Nifty! Please understand that I get down on my knees and thank God every single day that he still has a job...so the new shift is NOT the worst thing that could happen. It's just the "getting used to it" part. So, for the next couple of weeks, my computer time will officially move to the 8pm-12:30am slot. It makes no sense at all for me to attempt to lie down for an hour just to wake him up at 12:30am, so I'm staying up and handling my "official" (ha) business after he goes to bed. I think it's funny...his bedtime is now the same as the 3 year old's...I could make a funny yet somewhat fitting comment about that...but I won't. At least not at this time.

Moving along...

If you've read my profile, you'll notice that it mentions I'm interested in preparedness. In these uncertain economic times, it never hurts to think ahead. I ran across http://mormonfoodstorage.blogspot.com/2008/09/pantry-paragon-or-how-to-make-your-own.html when I was nosing around on survivalblog.com and thought it was a really nifty kind of idea. Maybe I can turn it into a fun crafty opportunity for the 3 year old?? Somehow, I'm fairly certain that by the time it's said and done, I'll have to make one just so the cats can have it to hide in. I don't know *why* cats love boxes, but if it keeps them from sleeping on top of my clean clothes, I'll happily try anything once. Hang on, though...would that mean that I'd be building a "cathouse"??? Heh...I'm KIDDING! Sorry...bad humor happens when I'm tired and stressed.

I'm still hoping to get a few pics on here at some point this week, so stay tuned!

Oh, about the aforemention blogged about scented rocks...

I, um, *ahem*, came across my rose-lavender scented rocks that I made back before Christmas. No, I didn't give them as gifts....they just looked a bit too...bizarre even for ME to give as gifts...and that's pretty bad. Anyway, I had shoved them off into the corner of the kitchen catch-all...er, I mean kitchen desk under some papers, and I found them again today. I am proud to report that sometime during the past month they have actually fully dried. Wish I could hammer down an exact time for you, but the truth is, I forgot about them. They *do* have a nice subtle rose-lavender smell. And so do the papers that were covering them. Oh, yeah. The cat prints are still there, too. :) I'm glad to know that they weren't a complete failure, at any rate. So, if anyone would like some cat-printed, scented rocks, let me know. Heh.

Crazy is as Crazy does...

Do you know what it's like when you've had a certain "feeling" about someone/thing after a while, have chosen to ignore it, and then have gotten blindsided by that very thing you chose to ignore? I have. WHEN will I learn to trust my instincts?? I have decided that just because someone is able to operate a computer doesn't mean that they should share their opinions to all of cyberspace on it. And, perchance, if a casual reader chooses to see those opinons as wrong or rather humourous or just downright crazy, then that someone really doesn't have a right to become upset, do they, since said comments are published for the world to read?? Gahhhhh....People kill me sometimes. (In case you're wondering, yes, I'm talking about a blog. And the craziness contained therein. I won't go into details.) I guess I got so used to dealing with craziness from some of my previous jobs (not to mention the fact that I can be a bit sanity-challenged at times) that I let my guard down and got sucked in. Well, no more. Blinders off.

Mixed Emotions

I am happy to report that we haven't had any further plumbing/septic malfunctions--yay! Things have been *really* busy over the past several days. My baby, my little MD, turned 3 on Sunday. While it makes me joyous to see all the things he can now do, it makes me sad at the same time. I remember, when he was a tiny (and I do mean tiny) baby with acid-reflux, and other mothers would tell me, "Ohhh, remember this--enjoy it. Time goes by all too quickly." While I did actually take their words to heart, I can STILL think of things that I would do differently, if given the chance. And time continues to move by at lightning speed...I am all too aware of this fact.

So, I've been watching the inauguration today...yes, sorry, I forgot to signal the left turn there... Though I didn't vote for President Obama, I do pray daily for him that he may lead our country wisely. Lots of uncertainty faces us in the days ahead, and I'd be LYING if I said it didn't make me have cause for concern. It is my most sincere hope that President Obama will leave our gun rights alone. Oh, did I forget to mention in my previous posts that I'm one of the bitter ones clinging to guns and religion?? Hey, I'm SOUTHERN, and a dang good redneck woman, at that--we're supposed to have guns! :) Heh.

I do make a solemn promise, however, that I'll make a serious effort to put something USEFUL on my page within the next couple of days...maybe a recipe? A picture? I dunno, I'll figure it out. Any input would be appreciated, from the 3 people who have read my blog. LOL.

At it again...

This week has been pretty busy in Redneck Land. Well, it all started, would you believe, on January 1. The first day of this new year was spent by Hubby and me by trying to fix our son's bathroom plumbing. Lemme tell you what happened. It all started on New Year's morning when I was cleaning up in MD's bathroom, which is usually not a big deal. MD announced to me that he had poo-pooed in this potty chair. (Why the child went from using the "big" potty to wanting to use the "little" potty constantly is a mystery to me...I guess I should be thankful that he *goes* potty at all.) I dumped the contents of the potty chair into the toilet and flushed. No big deal, right? Except that the toilet didn't suck water down the way it should have. Being the persistent type, I flushed again...and the water level rose higher. Great. Being the good redneck woman I am, I grab the plunger and start plunging away and making no progress whatsoever. I wasn't understanding why nothing was happening...that was, until little MD looks in the tub and says, "Mama, there's somepin in the tub!" And something there was. I had effectively plunged septic tank debris right into the carefully-scrubbed tub. GREAT! I finally broke down and woke up Hubby, who was still on his much-deserved vacation, and told him what was going on. He didn't think it was a big deal and followed me into the bathroom to set things right. So, we plunged the tub. Nada. We plunged the toilet again--even worse! More septic sludge backed up into the tub. ARGHHHH!! At this point, since I was frustrated nearly to tears, we decided to regroup and come up with another solution. The only thing we could figure was that there was a major clog somewhere in the drainage pipes underneath our home. As a last-ditch effort, we decided to run to Lowe's and look for solutions that would save us $$$ by not having to call a plumber (and on New Year's Day, at that). Hubby made the command decision to buy a Plung-It, although I was skeptical. It was almost like a bicycle pump but with different attachments to go on the end to fit a sink, tub, whatever. After we arrived home, we decided to Plung-It the tub. I held my breath....and what do you know, it actually did the trick! In my book, it was $10 well spent. I just wish it had cleaned up the mess left in the tub after the water finally drained...can you say DISGUSTING???

I've spent the biggest part of the week being sick. No, not from the tub incident, although that was reason enough, but because of the lovely sinus crap that just won't seem to go away. Poor MD has been coughing, but it hasn't slowed him down. Any. At all. Probably, though, a lot of the reason that mine has held on is because of a certain medication I have to take...joy. But I'm beginning to recover. I was well enough last night to make a mean batch of dinner rolls--they were very similar to the ones served at Lambert's restaurant in Sikeston, MO. WONDERFUL place. They actually throw the rolls at you there, although I didn't attempt that here last night. :)

Bleh...enough about my problems--I'm just glad they seem to be over with for the time being! I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's!

*Whew!*

Sorry for the longer-than-expected break...talk about getting down and not being able to get back up! I don't think I'm *ever* going to be well again. The lovely West Tennessee weather is doing it's thing again--I'm talking highs in the 70s one day, highs in the upper 30s the next. I'm starting to feel that I really just want my head to go on and explode.

Anyway, we had a lovely, albiet busy, Christmas season around our house. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to get some pics up before Easter time or so. The only toy that's giving me some problems right now is the drum set. How I wish that Santa had remembered to bring some Advil for Mommy! Little MD seems to be fairly happy with what he got for Christmas...but now, Hubby and I have to start buying for his 3rd birthday, which is just 2 weeks off! Thank goodness for after-Christmas toy clearance sales!!

I really wish that I had something useful to contribute today, but my head is so fuzzy, I probably would forget what I was posting about. Just say a prayer for me!