I'm a bad, bad blogger

Wow...it's really been since August since I've updated this thing?? I really stink at this. But then again, we already knew that, didn't we? :)

So, where to begin?

Let's see...we found out waaaaay back on the 25th of September that we're having another little boy. :D :D :D Although the initial hope had been for a girl, I am over the moon at having another baby boy. And, better yet, we found out on the 6th of this month that he's happy, healthy, and (very much so) growing. And I've discovered that having a "high-risk" pregnancy has its perks--we've had an ultrasound each month thus far, and more will follow. One of the most wonderful things I've ever seen is the development of this baby. I can't begin to describe how it makes me feel.

This pregnancy has been COMPLETELY different from my pregnancy with MD. I'm figuring that the fact that I was 25 pounds lighter to begin with than I was with MD has a lot to do with this, and my weight gain thus far (knock on wood) has been carefully controlled. I was 20 weeks this past Saturday, and I've gained a total of 10 pounds. I'm exercising fanatically (which was ok'd by the perinatologist, as Baby's growth is very good), and I feel WONDERFUL. I'm lucky in that my morning sickness started early (around the time of my missed period) and ended early (about week 8.5). The heartburn has started earlier, but I'm pretty sure that's been because I've been craving SPICY foods this pregnancy. I'm telling you, the spicier, the better. Why? I have no clue. But I'll tell you that even the fiery heartburn that follows isn't enough to dissuade the cravings.

This pregnancy has not been without its moments of anxiety, however. About 6 weeks in, I noticed that my symptoms had mysteriously vanished one day. I freaked, because that's what happened with my very first pregnancy--the one that ended in miscarriage. Looking back, I see that THAT should have been my first clue of what a trickster this baby was going to be! My symptoms returned a day later with a vengeance, although they did continue to come and go up to the beginning of my second trimester. So, if anyone is reading this and is concerned about fluctuating symptoms, there ya go--I had the same thing happen, and now I'm getting kicked to pieces from the inside. :) The next fit of worrying came at 12 weeks, during my 2nd prenatal checkup, when the nurse couldn't find Baby's heartbeat with the handheld Doppler machine. NOT cool. We were sent straight to Ultrasound, where we saw not only a heartbeat, but a tiny baby "waving" to us from within! He pulled the same trick at the 16 week checkup, and that point we decided that this child just really likes to have his picture taken. I'm telling you, I have a feeling now that he's going to be a handful!

Anyway, it's hard to cram almost 3 months worth of catching up into one blog post...I'll have to do better about remembering to update this thing. We have a prenatal appointment this coming Friday which should be pretty basic (for week 20). We'll visit the perinatologist again on 12/4...and I'm really hoping for a 4D ultrasound, although I'm not holding my breath just yet. But all in all, I can't remember when I've been this excited--the Lord has been good!

We have a baby!

I have been grinning like a cheshire cat ever since 2:30 yesterday afternoon! I finally got to see and hear my little one's heartbeat! I had a brief moment of anxiety when I first saw the baby, because it wasn't moving. That didn't last long, though, thankfully. Baby B had a heartbeat of 170 bpm and measured 2.11 centimeters long--and the measurments perfectly matched the gestational age. I cannot tell you how thrilled and relieved I was! The ultrasound tech was super nice and gave me not one but three pictures of our little...girl? Boy? I don't even care which right now, 'cause I'm just excited that it's HEALTHY!

Of course, the fact that I will be 35 when this child is born didn't escape the good folks at my clinic. Because of my age and my psoriatic arthritis, I am (of course) classified as a high-risk pregnancy. I've been automatically referred to the local perinatologist, whom, coincidentally, I love--I had to visit him during my first pregnancy, as well. I'll have to have a few more ultrasounds than normal, but hey, somehow I don't think I'll mind.

Overall, the visit was very positive. The OB that I saw delivered Mr. M.D. and has a wonderful bedside manner, and he seemed very optimistic about this pregnancy. The fact that he has never fed me a line of bull also helped to put me at ease.

So, that's about it for now. I have two doctor's appointments next month. The first is the regular OB visit on Sept. 16. The second is on the 25th and is with the perinatologist, and we'll be having a 14 week ultrasound done! So, if you have the chance, send us some happy thoughts!

Sounds like bull to me...

My husband is a rodeo freak. Wait...that didn't sound right. He's all about some rodeo. He used to bullride, and he'd do it again today if it wouldn't make my heart stop a hundred times over. So naturally, when he found out that a nearby county fair was having a Junior Rodeo, he talked our 3 1/2 year old son into participating in it. Little Boy was more than thrilled to be a part of it.



Now, understand , there are no live animals in this jr. rodeo. The barrel horse racing was done on stick horses, the cows for the cow-milking were wooden cut-outs, and the bull was a plastic barrel with a plastic bull's head on the front of it and was suspended by four ropes (two in front, two in back) from two overhead ceiling beams. My son was in the 5 & Under group. I wish I had a picture of him to put on here, because he surely was cute in his little blue jeans, work boots and "Ride 'Em Cowboy" shirt.



He participated in the stick horse barrel racing and (of course) in the bullriding. You should have seen the big grin on his face during the barrel race--it made this mother's heart melt. As far as the bullriding...well, dummy me, in my eagerness to watch my son participate, had signed him up to be the first rider. What I was thinking, I don't know, because now he couldn't watch to get an idea of how, exactly, it was supposed to be done. On top of that, we had asked the lady in charge of the rodeo event if the smaller kids were allowed to hang on with both hands instead of just one, and she was like "Oh yeah, it's no big deal, that's fine." Well, turns out, it wasn't fine. Apparently the teens that were judging the event didn't get the memo. My boy got dinged on points for doing what we were told he would be fine doing. So, he didn't win, but he did obviously have a good time, which was totally worth the 2 1/2 hours we sat in the humid, Southern evening air. Oh--you wanna know who won his age group? The winner was the little girl whose daddy ran the fair's mechanical bull. Hmmmm....



Anyway, perceived unfairness aside, we had a good night. It was a good family outing. It was great to see my boy in action. I just hope I handle it so well when he climbs onto the live animal for the first time...we'll not rush that along. :)

Wooooohoooo!!!!

Wow...3 months? I haven't posted for 3 months? I didn't realize how far off my game I've fallen!

The reason that I posted today, actually, is because I have good news--I'm pregnant! I was kinda hesitant to even put it on here because I didn't want to jinx it, and I'm still VERY early in this pregnancy. BUT...I do have a doctor's appointment on August 19. :) How I'm going to be able to make it until then without completely losing my mind, I don't know. Oh, wait...that's right, I'll have morning sickness to keep me busy until then. It's the kind of morning sickness that lasts all day long. But you know what? I'll happily be sick if it means that I have a healthy pregnancy & baby.

I'm kinda halfway wondering what I've gotten myself into. I'll be 35 when this baby is born. Add on top of that the joint damage I've already got from my psoriatic arthritis, and well...I'm a little intimidated right now. I've heard that most cases of arthritis go into remission during pregnancy, and I'm really hoping that I'm part of "most." I guess we'll have to see. Either way, I'm in it for the long haul.

So, anxiety aside, I am THRILLED about this baby!! It's truly an answer to my prayers. I guess now I have a reason to update this blog more often now, huh? :)

Wait, let me explain...

Ok, upon re-reading my previous post, I understand that perhaps I came across like a spoiled teenager who expects everything to be done *RIGHT WHEN!* she wants...honestly, that's not the image I was trying to project.

Let me help you understand...

Four and half years ago, when my life was totally and completely out of control, I found out that I was pregnant. I cried for the rest of that day. And then I realized, "Wait! So what if the father of this child is a no-good @#$%&*...I'm going to have a baby!" Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I had never experienced such devastation in my life up to that point. So, you can imagine that when I met my soon-to-be husband not even a month after this miscarriage, I was really thinking that things were too good to be true. He was wonderful, and he gave me a love that I had never known before. Because of him, my life turned around. Anyway....enough mush. :) Things just clicked between us. There was no question in either of our minds that we were made for each other. After becoming engaged on March 18, 2005, we kind of ran off and eloped on the 23rd. I TOLD you we didn't believe in long engagements. At the end of March, we decided that we would try for a baby. (I was 30, after all...) The first month we tried, we conceived, and I wound up giving birth to my M.D.

Now, I said all that to say this...I have a problem in that I base what things *should* be like on what they *were* before. I realize that there are couples out there that try for months and years, and this time around, we could be one of them...and I by no means want to discount what they have to go through. One of the things that God apparently wants me to work on is dealing with my disappointment and with having patience. I'm really not a petulant spoiled brat. Really!

Oh, and I would like to say thank you to HTM--you always have the most encouraging things to say. Thanks for your kind words. :)

Sometimes...

Sometimes I am sad. Today is one of those days. I wrote 2 months ago about how I'd love to have another baby and about how I didn't feel that it was time. Well, that's all changed. Just days after that blog was written, Hubby and I decided that it was, in fact, time. (Yes, we're impulsive...I'll have to tell ya about our not-so-lengthy path to engagement/marriage...lol). So, long story short, we've been trying. And it's breaking my heart into pieces right now that it would appear that *this* isn't the month that the magic is going to happen.

Now, granted...just 'cause it's time to try doesn't mean that it's time to happen. That's what I keep telling myself...yeah, sounds a little desperate, doesn't it? I mean, I'm almost 35 years old. I've been on birth control for half my life. I have an auto-immune issue. The odds are stacked against me, but I'm trying my dangedest to keep my faith strong in the Lord. I have caught myself thinking about the stories of Sarah and Hannah in the Old Testament, and I know that He is hearing my prayers. I just...well, I'm not so good at the waiting thing. Perhaps I should pray for patience, as well?

So, now you know part of the reason that I haven't been chatty as much here lately. With my roller-coaster emotions, sometimes silence is the best option. Silence and prayer--there's been a lot of that going on here lately, and more promises to follow.

Breaking the blog-silence

Have you ever had one of those days where you just didn't want to really be around anyone? I've just had about 2 months worth of them. I've done a lot of thinking, praying, and most hopefully, growing. I've had to come to terms with a lot of my issues, as I wasn't left a choice in the matter. We'll see where this leads. I'll try to provide interesting reads on this blog, even if I can't update it every day. It still may not be the most intelligent blog you've ever read...but hey, if I can at least amuse you, I've done my job. :)